


On Hallow's Eve

by honeymilkhwa



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Afterlife, Blood and Injury, Boys Kissing, Brotherly Love, Character Death, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Family Reunions, Friends to Lovers, Halloween, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Gore, Slow Romance, minor seongsang - Freeform, no beta we die like men, wooyoung and yeosang are brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24604294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeymilkhwa/pseuds/honeymilkhwa
Summary: wooyoung was always curious about the boy who seemed so alone on halloween, so he decides to make friends in his new neighborhood. but why does he only appear on halloween?
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	On Hallow's Eve

**Author's Note:**

> this is a revamp of a much older fic, so i apologize if there are some things left over that i didn't catch, or if the timelines don't 100% match. i tried my best to smooth everything over!
> 
> please read the tags before continuing! :)

It was Wooyoung’s first halloween in a new neighborhood; it’s just him, Yeosang, and his mother. He didn’t really mind it though; his father was never around to be a part of his family, so the three of them had always felt whole. Stepping out on the front porch, the leaves dyed with varied orange and yellow hues, fall knocking right on their doorstep, Wooyoung found the slightly cool breeze rejuvenating; it was his favorite time of year. 

As he looked around, there was no one in his cul de sac save for one young man leaning against a tree with no leaves. Wooyoung didn’t recognize him, but then again, they just moved in a week ago. Maybe he was friends with Yeosang.

They met gazes, and Wooyoung felt a small shiver run up his spine. But he passed it off as the cold air and waved to the young man. The other seemed a little surprised at the gesture, looking around himself just to make sure it was him Wooyoung had waved at. But upon realizing he was all alone, he turned to Wooyoung and gave a small wave back.

“Wooyoung!” Hearing his name, Wooyoung turned inside towards the source of the voice.

“Coming!” He called back. But right before he went inside, he snuck a glance towards the street again.

But the young man was nowhere to be found

* * *

Wooyoung was twelve years old this Halloween, and Yeosang, as usual, had matching costumes. With the celebration of the new Jurassic World movie that was about to come out, Yeosang had a dinosaur costume ready for his little brother. 

“Look, Wooyoung, your costume is ready!” Wooyoung padded over and took the material in his hands. He traced the seams, proud that his big brother could hand make such a cool costume. “And you can wear it to sleep once Halloween is over too.” Wooyoung marveled at it, his golden eyes sparkling at the prospect of wearing it every day.

He ran up to Yeosang and hugged him, pressing his cheek against the warm fabric of his brother’s shirt. “Thank you, hyung.” Wooyoung said quietly before running upstairs to his room. He put on his warm pajamas and socks before slipping the costume over his head. Once Wooyoung flipped the hood on his head, he really looked like a dinosaur! Wooyoung couldn’t be happier; he couldn’t wait to wear it every day. It was so warm and cozy and perfect for sleeping. 

Hearing the wind howling outside, Wooyoung curiously wandered over to his window. He looked out on the empty street and saw the young man he saw last year sitting on the curb. 

Wooyoung tapped on the window, hoping to get the other’s attention. He was curious as to who the boy was; he forgot to ask if Yeosang knew about him. The young man turned his head and Wooyoung waved.

He waved back.

* * *

Wooyoung had gotten separated from his older brother during their trick-or-treating, and he spotted the mysterious young man lazing around the other street, trying to hide in the dark. 

“Hey.” Wooyoung called out to him. He flinched and turned to face Wooyoung. “What’s your name? Where do you live? Do you know Yeosang?”

The other boy looked a little frazzled, glancing every which way for a chance to escape, but Wooyoung wasn’t going to let him go anywhere. They had moved into the light of a lamp post, standing nearly in the middle of the sidewalk but none of the children running by seemed to pay them any mind. “Okay, okay. Jeez, you’re persistent.” He scratched the back of his head, looking around the small cul de sac. “I’m San. I live a few blocks away.” He paused and Wooyoung wouldn’t stop staring. “I don’t know this ‘Yeosang’ you mentioned. Is he your friend?” 

Wooyoung nodded. “He’s my brother.” 

San whistled. “Where is he now?”

“I don’t know.”

“You got a cute costume.”

“It’s not cute; Yeosang made it for me.”

“Does he have a matching set?”

“Yes...he’s a raptor trainer.”

“Like the movie?”

“Yeah. Like the movie.” 

San laughed at that, and Wooyoung couldn’t tell if he was making fun of it or just amused. Either way, Wooyounf decided that he doesn’t dislike the sound of San’s voice. It was kind of soft, like a voice that’s not completely audible, like Wooyoung has water in his ears. 

“Why aren’t you dressed up?” Wooyoung frowned. San looked down at himself, donned in a simple burgundy cotton tee, dark washed jeans, and lace up boots that barely cover his ankles. San shrugged, but there was a look in his eyes that Wooyoung caught for just a second that he couldn’t quite describe.

“No reason.” San put his hands behind his head, amber eyes studying the dinosaur-clad boy in front of him. “You should go find your raptor trainer.” San leaned over and peeked at Wooyoung’s bucket of candy. “And get some more candy too.” Wooyoung frowned, about to protest, but he heard a voice behind him calling him. Wooyoung whipped around and beamed at the sight of his older brother running towards him.

“Wooyoung! There you are!” Yeosang swooped his little brother into his arms, but Wooyoung fidgeted in his grasp, complaining that he wasn’t a child anymore. “What’re you doing here all by yourself?” 

“I wasn’t alone! I was talking to…” As Wooyoung turned around to introduce Yeosang to San, there was nobody behind him.

San was gone, like he was never there to begin with. Wooyoung wondered how San managed to run away so quickly without Yeosang noticing. 

* * *

Wooyoung didn’t see San the day after Halloween. He looked up and down streets and asked random people if they had seen his new friend.

But no one knew San, like the young man was just a whisper in the wind.

It bothered Wooyoung for a while, but when Christmas rolled around, all he could think about was the smell of fresh snow piling on the front lawn and the bright festive lights decorating all of the houses on his street.

He wondered briefly if San could see the same sight, in awe by the bright lights and the twinkling stars that watched over them and seemed to know everything.

* * *

San probably moved, was the reason Wooyoung came up with. So he was surprised to see the same young man stalking around the sidewalk four years later on Halloween looking completely the same as he had a year ago. Wooyoung ran out the door as soon as he spotted the other from his window and tackled San to the ground. “Woah, holy shit Wooyoungie. What the hell was that for?” San groaned, the sudden feeling of grass on his back making him feel just a little sick.

“I couldn’t find you. I thought you moved away.” Wooyoung’s face made San’s heart lurch a bit. San bit his lip and avoided eye contact, but Wooyoung only stared harder, persistent. “Do you not like me?” 

San laughed. “Of course I like you. You’re a weird dinosaur nerd who secretly loves strawberry shortcake despite how mean and grumpy he is on the outside.” Wooyoung’s eyes widened and his face turned the exact shade of a ripe strawberry.Wooyoung couldn’t form proper words, the sounds stuck in his throat, so he opted for shaking San by the collar of his shirt from embarrassment.

There was something that nagged at the back of Wooyoung's mind. How did San know about his sweet tooth? And the dinosaurs he had displayed proudly on his shelf? But the thought had been quickly tucked away as San began tickling him, and the uncontrollable laughter he had been succumbed to took his breath away, like he was floating over the moon.

* * *

“I’m going to leave for a while, Wooyoungie.” San had finally given the other time to breathe, and Wooyoung was grateful for each heavy gulp of oxygen into his lungs. Wooyoung played with his fingers, gazing up at the starry night sky.

“Where are you going?” Wooyoung looked at his hands, waiting for an answer, but didn’t get one. “Will you come back?” San made a small noise in the back of his throat.

“Do you want me to?” 

Wooyoung bit his lip, face flush. He was glad San couldn’t see it. “Maybe.”

“Then I’ll come back.” San raised his pinky finger over to Wooyoung, waiting expectantly like an obedient puppy waiting for a treat. Wootoung stared at the finger presented for a while, wondering if maybe San could tell his face was bright red in the darkness before wrapping his own pinky around San’s, sealing their promise.

* * *

Wooyoung counted each day until San returned. And after a while, he wondered if San wasn’t planning on returning, moving on to bigger and better things. But when Halloween rolled around and he saw San playing with rocks in his front yard, Wooyoung felt a huge swell of joy in his chest as well as an equal amount of unease.

“San.” The teen flinched at the stern tone of his name. “Why do you only come back on Halloween? Why are you never here any other day?” Wooyoung wasn’t going to leave without a proper answer and San knew he was going to have to confess tonight.

“I’m always here, Wooyoung.” San’s voice was shaky. “I’m always here watching you, even though you can’t see me.” Wooyoung felt a chill run down his spine.

* * *

Wooyoung spent all of November 1st buried in the public library at school. His history teacher was thrilled that he was taking extra care on researching Halloween, and had taken interest in the legends of ghosts and the living dead. His teacher gave him a lot of good resources and books about the holiday.

So Wooyoung took the books home with him and read them under his covers until 5am when he passed out with San’s smile echoing in his dreams.

* * *

“Wow, Wooyoungie, you grew a lot.” San smiled, patting the blonde on the back. “You graduated high school now...you’re almost taller than me! That’s not fair.” 

But Wooyoung wasn’t happy in the slightest despite San’s attempts to lift the corners of his lips into a smile. Wooyoung frowned, clenching his fists a little. 

San sighed; he knew he would have to tell him eventually, but he didn’t expect Wooyoung to find out on his own. “Are you mad at me?” Wooyoung flinched but didn’t answer; instead, he stared at the sidewalk beneath his feet.

He wasn’t mad, per se. But he didn’t like being lied to, being led on like this. Wooyoung had grown attached to San, someone who he could only see once a year, someone who barely even existed, or maybe just a big part of his own imagination. San was on his mind constantly despite only being around him for such little time. But it was the rest of the 364 days of not seeing or being with him that made Wooyoung’s attachment only grow worse.

“How long have you been dead?” Wooyoung’s voice was small, quiet, and a little squeaky. He was afraid to speak for fear of yelling too much or not being able to speak at all because his chest ached every time he looked at the other boy in front of him. San scratched the back of his head, not sure of how to answer before he took the blonde’s hand in his own and led him down the street. “San? What’re you…” But Wooyoung didn’t pester further, watching San’s back as they walked down the cul de sac and to a street Wooyoung had never been on before.

The hand holding his own was warm; how could someone who was no longer living feel so warm? It confused Wooyoung, made his blood boil, made his heart beat uncontrollably fast, made his palms sweaty and his mind wander into dreams he didn’t think were capable for someone like him. It didn’t make sense; not at all. He just barely turned eighteen, jhe could see eye-level with San now, yet for some reason he felt so small. The street was quiet save for the slight rustling of orange and red leaves, dancing around each other in a frenzied waltz before resting gently on the cold cement. 

Wooyoung nearly bumped into San, not paying attention to where he was going and focusing on the hand that spread warmth through his body like a wildfire. He looked at San briefly, then followed his gaze to the dilapidated house at the end of a quiet and cold cul de sac. There had been a fire there, but it seemed like a long time ago. Wooyoung hadn’t remembered hearing about any recent fires, but the dark bones of the house were still there, being held up by nothing. 

“This is...well,  _ was _ ...my home.” San’s hand in his hand grew even warmer, and then the realization hit Wooyoung like a storm. He felt bile creep up his throat, crouching down and hugging his knees. It felt like he could see the fire, hear the helpless screams as the flames charred their skin, burning through each layer slowly...Wooyoung couldn’t even imagine how it must have felt, to be in such a helpless state as flames consumed his body. He didn’t realize he was crying until he felt San’s fingers wipe away the tears on his cheeks. “Why are you crying? It happened years ago…”

“B-but…” Wooyoung heard his own voice crack and he winced. “It was painful, wasn’t it? Was your family here? Did you have siblings?” He didn’t want to ask any more questions; he was too afraid of the answers he was going to receive. 

San smiled and helped him back up, taking Wooyoung’s hand in his own again. “I didn’t feel a thing.” He lied, rubbing each one of Wooyoung’s long fingers gently, trying to ease the tension out of them, hoping his actions would take all the sadness away. “I had an older brother; I could hear him crying and trying to help me, but I was trapped in my room and I couldn’t go anywhere.” San smiled a little. “But, like I said, I didn’t feel anything.” Wooyoung gazed into his eyes, like he could see the flames in his glowing amber eyes. “He probably passed on painlessly too.”

He hoped Wooyoung couldn’t feel the lies in the shakiness of his hands. “Are they here?” Wooyoung asked. “Your brother...your parents.” 

San smiled and shook his head, interlacing their fingers, glad that Wooyoung wasn’t crying anymore. “They passed on then…” 

Wooyoung tilted his head. “Why haven’t you? Moved on, I mean. Why are you still tied to the living when your whole family is already passed?” 

San had asked himself that question many times, why he just couldn’t bring himself to let go, to see his big brother, to climb on his shoulders and demand to be paraded around like royalty. He let out a deep sigh, let go of Wooyoung’s hands, then looked back at his burnt house. 

“I don’t know.” San admitted. :But at that moment, when I realized I was dead, and I could feel the tug of the afterlife pulling me away from this place, but I just couldn’t go along with it. I felt like, if I didn’t stick around, I’d be making the biggest mistake of my life. I guess I was just waiting for something to happen...for someone to happen.” San turned back around and smiled, trying to keep the sorrow that was welling up at bay, fighting his tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks at the sight of Wooyoung’s puffy red eyes and quivering lips.

“Maybe you were the one I was waiting for.”

* * *

Wooyoung watched from his window, on the very first minute of November 1st, when San faded away like dust like he was never there to begin with. He grabbed onto his pillow and hugged it to his chest. San told him not to cry, not to worry so much about it. But he couldn’t help it; Wooyoung sobbed into his pillow, glad that neither Yeosang nor his parents had checked up on him that night. He wouldn’t know how to explain the immense sadness that he couldn’t hold back. He wouldn’t be able to explain why his pillows were wet and why his throat was so dry and aching.

He pressed his toes into the soft sheets, buried his face in a pillow, closed his eyes...Wooyoung pictured San there by his side, smiling and laughing, his sweet gentle voice breathing life back into him. It eased his mind a little, to picture the young man with the sly grin by his side, imagining the warmth on his fingertips, the way San held his hand so gently. 

Whether it was a dream, or if maybe San’s presence had lingered a little bit, but Wooyoung fell asleep to the soft fingers carding through his hair, sifting away the misery and sending shivers up Wooyoung’s spine.

* * *

“I like you, San.” Wooyoung said aloud in his bedroom, pulling his knees to his chest. San had told him that he always hung around despite not being able to be seen by others. If he was there in his room or not, Wooyoung didn’t know. But he felt the need to say it anyway. “I really, really like you, Choi San.” He could feel his cheeks warm up at his own confession, and he buried his face into his pillow; it was weird to not know if San heard or not, but then he felt a cold shiver run up his spine, whether his own imagination or San trying to make his presence known.

“Not fair, San.” He mumbled into the pillow, wondering if San could hear that too.

* * *

One of San’s favorite things was to watch Wooyoung sleep; it was the only time he didn’t put on a mask, no cold harsh glares to keep people out, no fake smiles to hide when he was really hurting. His true nature was revealed when he’s sleeping. No one was around to see, so Wooyoung let his guard down, and his real emotions were there for San to read. 

He hovered over the mattress, lying on his side as he watched Wooyoung breathe, slowly in and slowly out. It was difficult for him, to be able to see him, watch him grow into such a strong young man, into the greatest person he could possibly be, and yet no matter how hard he tried, he could never touch Wooyoung.

San reached a hand out, moving slowly through the moonlit room. He spread his fingers and closed his eyes, imagining touching soft skin, wondering what it would feel like, how Wooyoung would react. When he opened his eyes, he frowned, because his hand couldn’t reach Wooyoung; he could never reach him...no matter how hard he tried.

* * *

Wooyoung had a plan; if he could sleep all day on the 30th, and with enough energy drinks, he could be able to stay up for the entire duration of the 31st, the only day he was allowed to see San: to touch him, and to feel him. But he was also uneasy, because he had confessed a year ago, and he wasn’t entirely sure if San even heard him. What would San even say? Would he reject him? That seemed to be the most logical conclusion Wooyoung came up with; how could you even date someone who wasn’t even alive? And Wooyoung was certain that necrophilia was not in either of their interests.

Eight o’clock rolled around and the energy drinks were only making him more sleepy, giving him a sugar crash. He looked over at the clock and deemed that a little nap wouldn’t hurt. Wooyoung set his phone alarm for 11:45 so he could prepare for when San came into view. But maybe he wouldn’t even show up...maybe San got bored and wouldn’t talk to him anymore.

He quickly pushed that thought away and pulled the warm comforter over himself with just his face poking out, resting on the fluffy pillow. Everything was so warm and so comfortable that it was so easy to just fall asleep. But he fell asleep too deeply that he slept through his alarm and right up to midnight. 

San was hesitant; he didn’t want to wake Wooyoung up because he was probably so exhausted, but he wanted to be near him nonetheless.

San gingerly lifted the cover and slid into the bed with Wooyoung; it had been a long time since he had ever felt the warmth of a soft mattress and an extra cozy comforter that would even put San to sleep. So he didn’t blame Wooyoung for sleeping past midnight. It took San a long time to swallow his fears (a good two hours) before he pressed his chest up against Wooyoung’s back. 

Wooyoung...had confessed...didn’t he? It wasn’t a figment of one of San’s wild imaginations that enabled him to conjure a memory of Wooyoung admitting his feelings for him. Well, the worst thing that could happen was for the blonde to kick him out of bed. But when Wooyoung unconsciously sunk into him, San knew he couldn’t hold back. He wrapped one arm around the other male’s waist, his other arm curled around Wooyoung’s head. San pressed his nose against Wooyoung’s neck, reveling in the fact that he could touch and feel and breathe and smell him right there in his arms, like he was alive again.

He almost didn’t want Wooyoung to wake up; he wanted to hold him like this, a pure, sleeping Wooyoung without a care in the world. He wanted happiness for Wooyoung, wanted it so much more than for himself. His dead heart was brought back to life every time he saw Wooyoung, every time he touched him...he wondered if Wooyoung’s kiss could bring him out of his misery, to let him stay with the blonde all 365 days of the year.

But Wooyoung did stir, sleeping noises echoing ever so slightly in the small, dark room. “Mmm.” He hummed at the feeling of being surrounded by such a comfortable warmth. He almost couldn’t differentiate between the blanket and San until he felt the other male’s legs tangle with his own and Wooyoung froze. “San?” He asked hesitantly.

“Yeah.” They stayed silent for a while and San feared he had gone too far. “Do you want me to move? I’m sorry if you’re—”

“No.” Wooyoung said faster than he would have liked. “I mean...we can stay like this.” He admitted, his mind slowly accepting the words as he spoke. “This...is nice.” Wooyoung relaxed against San like he was the missing puzzle piece he had been looking for, waiting for his entire life. 

San hummed in response, pressing his lips against Wooyoung’s neck. When he didn’t get any protest, he worked those kisses to his jaw, moving slowly and softly. 

Wooyoung wasn’t sure if he was dreaming...it felt too real, to have San’s lips against his skin, to feel his arms around him like they were meant to be there… “Am I dreaming?” Wooyoung asked, wondering that he wouldn’t get the answer he wanted, worried that he would wake up and San wouldn’t be there.

“Nah. I’m right here, Wooyoungie. Always have been.” He cooed. Wooyoung rolled around so he could face San. He hoped the darkness could hide the redness on his cheeks, could hide how scared and how emotional Wooyoung actually was. He reached out to touch San’s face, running his fingers along his brow, his forehead, his nose, his cheek, his jaw...everything felt so real. 

This could not be a dream. And when San smiled back at him, Wooyoung felt as if nothing in the world was more beautiful than that. 

“I like you, Wooyoung.” San spoke softly, reaching for Wooyoung’s hand and intertwining their fingers; his unbeating heart seemed to soar when Wooyoung squeezed back.

“I like you too, San.” Wooyoung admitted, the moonlight unable to hide his bright smile. “I really like you.” And hearing those words again, San felt like he was alive whenever Wooyoung was here, with him, by his side, and in his arms. 

San confessed many times over the course of the night, pressing small kisses on his cheek, pressing their bodies up close as if separation would spell death for the both of them. And when Wooyoung had had enough, cupped San’s cheeks, stared into his eyes and silently begged for the real thing, San was happy to oblige, letting his eyelids flutter closed and pressed his slightly chapped lips against Wooyoung’s, and felt truly alive again. 

* * *

Wooyoung returned home from university one night, plopping his backpack on the floor and rolling to his bed. It had been four months since Halloween and he felt almost empty. He wrapped the blankets around his torso, trying to imagine San pressing up against his back like he had done. 

“San…” He whispered out, wondering if the other man was in his room (which he probably was since San confessed to hanging out in Wooyoung’s room more often than not). If Wooyoung just pictured San in the room with him, it put his mind at ease.

“I miss you.” Wooyoung confessed softly, but this time he knew San could hear him. “I wish you could be here all the time…” He smiled and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. “But, I have to thank you, San. The 24 hour date we had...it’s enough for me to picture your arms around me, your sweet kisses on my skin...I can imagine it all like it happened yesterday.”

Wooyoung covered his face with his pillow a little because he was a bit embarrassed to be admitting such a thing. “And as each day passes, I get more and more excited because I know the next time I can see you, I can feel that it will be better than the last.”

Wooyoung rolled onto his back and inhaled the cotton scent of his pillow. He hadn’t washed it since, which was a little gross. He’d use water to clean it if it got too dirty, but he felt like if he cleaned it, San’s scent would be gone. And despite being a ghost, San’s scent was still there, lingering on his pillow like a memory, a reminder that his feelings for San were real and not a dream.

Meanwhile, San couldn’t contain his excitement. His boyfriend…(San sometimes had to slap himself in the face for being able to call Wooyoung like that felt too unreal) was way too adorable and sweet for his own good. The way he spoke with such an earnest smile, with a tone of voice he was sure no one else has ever heard before.

This side of Wooyoung was meant just for San; just for him, his own little slice of paradise.

San wished Halloween would come even sooner.

* * *

“You’re getting older.” San said, his back leaning against the bed frame, Wooyoung fitting in between his legs, laying his own back against San’s warm chest. He hummed in acknowledgement, eyes closed and too tired to speak much or move from his very comfortable position in San’s arms. “You’re older than me...well, not technically. But still…” San whined, nuzzling his nose in the other’s neck, inhaling the sweet scent before pressing slow, lazy kisses on pale, unmarked skin.

Wooyoung didn’t want to think about it, but he  _ is aging  _ while San is not. Eventially, Wooyoung will age and grow old and San will not change, staying a ghost, still only being able to see each other one day a year. But that part doesn’t bother him; he just feared San will move on before he knows it and San would be gone forever…

“Say, Wooyoung.” San’s hands suddenly feel cold. “Do you have anyone you like?” Wooyoung turned around, a face that spelled “is that a serious question?” 

But San was very serious. 

“I love you, Wooyoung. I really, really do…” Wooyoung recognized that tone of voice; it was the same voice when San had described to him years ago how he and his family died. Wooyoung didn't like where this conversation was headed. “But...dating me...is unrealistic.”

“Sannie, please, don’t do this…”

“But I have to!” San cried out softly, careful not to raise his voice as he held Wooyoung’s waist tighter. “You have to move on... _ I _ have to move on. I can’t make you suffer each year, waiting to see me for just 24 hours.” San tried to hide the fact that he was crying, but Wooyoung could probably feel his body shaking against him. “I can’t cook for you, I can’t touch you, kiss you, provide for you...I can’t do  _ anything _ for you.” San pressed a small kiss on the other’s shoulder. “You deserve so much more, Wooyoung. So much more than I can give.” 

“I don’t  _ care, _ San. I don’t fucking  _ care _ that I have to wait 364 days for you to be able to kiss me and hold me and tell me you love me…” Wooyoung could feel the tears starting to prick the corners of his eyes; this was not the conversation he’d been hoping for. “Seven years, San. We met on this day seven years ago. I’ve gone seven years with the waiting game. And yes, it  _ would _ be nice to be able to kiss you every single day. But I  _ can’t. _ And I’ve already come to terms with that fact. Because every Halloween, these small 24 hours that I get to spend with you, they mean more to me than anything in this world.” 

Wooyoung turned around in San’s embrace and cupped the other’s face. “So don’t you  _ dare _ say that you can’t do anything for me. Don’t you  _ dare _ say that I deserve something more.” He hated crying...especially on a day that was so important to him. “Please...don’t push me away. I  _ need _ you. Even if you can only see me once a year, I  _ need _ you.” Wooyoung wiped his eyes hurriedly, sniffling as he tried to calm himself down. “Don’t make me cry on the most important day of my life.” 

San’s face was blank, so Wooyoung leaned in to kiss the other, to make all of the negative thoughts disappear, because all he wanted to do on this day was kiss his boyfriend until his lips were sore and be held in those arms until the clock struck midnight.

San had finally snapped out of it, Wooyoung’s words still echoing in his mind. All he wanted was for Wooyoung to be happy; that was the only reason he ignored the tug into the afterlife, why he’d stuck around every slow-passing day just to spend a single one of those days in Wooyoung’s arms. 

And if Wooyoung was happy the way they are, then...he was happy with it too. He wished he could be more, he wished that he could be someone Wooyoung could show off to his friends and family, someone that could be there when Wooyoung needed him most.

As much as he knew leaving would be better for Wooyoung long term, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to pass on happily knowing he’d break Wooyoung’s heart into tiny, irreplaceable pieces. 

San moved his hands to squeeze Wooyoung’s waist, enjoying the small whimpers coming from his boyfriend’s mouth as they kissed. “I’m so sorry, Wooyoung.” San sobbed between kisses. “I’m so sorry...I love you...I love you, Wooyoung. I love you.”

Wooyoung forgave him in a heartbeat, settling comfortably in the other male’s lap. “It’s okay, Sannie. I love you too.”

* * *

Wooyoung was twenty when he felt extremely content with his life. He had a nice studio apartment in a hi-rise in Seoul, his close friend Mingi lived just across the hall from him. Yeosang visited on occasion and always sent him care packages filled with home-baked cookies. He even received a New Year’s card from Seonghwa, his literature teacher’s aide that seemed to favor him over the other students. Even with his mother passing away not too long ago, and even though he missed her to pieces, the family he had now was just as good.

Life was good, he thought. Halloween was just five months away; he’d be able to see San again, feel the warmth of his embrace and kiss him into the night. Slipping on a warm jacket, Wooyoung headed out of his apartment to go to the convenience store to grab dinner. He was still trying to get his Korean cooking license, but Mingi was a very eager test subject.

With San in his thoughts, he pulled his scarf over his mouth to hide the smile on his face  _ Just five more months. _ He thought, not perturbed at all that San’s physical form was now three years younger than him, but he sometimes poked fun at the fact that San was an old man having died thirty years ago. Wooyoung walked into a busy intersection, headphones over his ears, his music that he picked out with San drowning out the world around him, drowning out the screeching of tires, the sound of screams around him, the sound of his own body breaking.

Wooyoung felt himself being launched further into the intersection before landing back on the cold, hard pavement. It didn’t quite register that he had been hit by a car, the pain not evident until he tried to get up. His vision was blurry and the voices that echoed around him seemed to fade. 

Just as quickly as the pain spread through his entire body, it was gone in an instant. He tried sitting up again, and this time his limbs seemed to obey him. It was then that he looked down and saw he was not in a bloody heap in the middle of the road, but rather looking over the gruesome scene. 

Then suddenly there were warm arms around his shoulders that felt just like San’s. It was the middle of May, so there was no way for San to be here unless he was dreaming, or…

“ _ Wooyoung…”  _ San’s voice sounded like his entire world was crumbling in front of him. “Oh no, Wooyoung. Oh please no, you can’t be here. You have to go back.” San picked his ethereal body up and carried him back to Wooyoung’s body. He tried pushing Wooyoung back in, getting him back where he belonged, in the world of the living. “You have Mingi, and your brother...you have an entire career in front of you, that cooking license you’ve been working so hard on...you can’t end it like this.” The sound of sirens seemed so far away even though Wooyoung can see the ambulance approaching even closer.

Wooyoung could hear San crying, and it’s devastating; but looking back at his body, limbs bent where they shouldn’t, ribs cracked and caved inwards...there’s no way he could go back now.

Now Wooyoung could feel a different kind of pain, not a physical one. He could imagine Mingi’s pained face, see his brother’s tears...even Seonghwa might even cry despite his personality. And Wooyoung wanted it so much that he was trying to somehow claw his way back to the world of the living, but as each second passed, and as each of his tears rolled off his cheek and disappeared into nothingness, he knew it was too late.

San, realizing this too, having given up on getting Wooyoung back into his body, whisked them away to Wooyoung’s apartment and fell back on his bed. Wooyoung curled into the other, sobbing into San’s shirt. It was a strange sensation for San; he wanted Wooyoung to have a good life, to live to be an old man and live carefree. But the tragic accident had brought them together, a wish both of them have secretly wanted...but neither of them wanted it to happen like this. Now Wooyoung had lost his best friend and his family in a single moment.

And as Wooyoung sobbed for the rest of the night, San held him tightly, wiping all the tears that rolled down his cheeks and stained the soft cotton of his shirt.

* * *

Mingi and Yeosang have known about San, so the idea that they could meet Wooyoung again was something not too far-fetched. They had discussed this in June, just a month after Wooyoung’s death. If San could appear on Halloween, then Wooyoung could too. Seonghwa wanted to tag along too, overhearing their conversation and begging to see Wooyoung again. They had all sat down to prepare a large feast of Wooyoung’s favorites.

“Hey, can we eat all this? I’d be really upset if they made all that food for me and I couldn’t even eat a single bite.” 

San laughed, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend as they watched Wooyoung’s family prepare for dinner. “Yeah, you can eat...but I would suggest not eating too much or you’ll end up being sick.” San smiled. “I wouldn’t eat the entire cake even though I know you want to.” 

Watching his entire family still have hope in their eyes, still with all their smiles and the warmth of their love that Wooyoung could feel even from being in a different realm, it nearly brought him to tears. But Wooyoung had promised himself that he wouldn’t cry, for his family’s sake; he had already done enough of that before, and he didn’t want anyone else to cry either.

When the clock struck midnight, Wooyoung’s family was tense, hoping and praying that they could see Wooyoung for one more day. A shiny veil appeared before San and Wooyoung as they held hands. “I always thought you just magically appeared...I never knew there was a door like this. That makes sense now.”

San kissed his cheek. “Mmm. Go ahead, Wooyoung. I’ll be right behind you.” 

Wooyoung nodded and took a deep breath before stepping through the veil, San not far behind. His entire family, Mingi included, could feel his presence when he stepped into the room and it took merely a second before he was pummeled to the floor by people that he cares about the most. Yeosang and Mingi were sobbing uncontrollably, Seonghwa in tears too. 

It was strange how detached Wooyoung felt from the rest of the world, but the embraces and cries from his family pulled him back together. “Ow, you guys are heavy.” Eventually they all managed to climb off of the blonde and each took turns hugging Wooyoung. “I’m...so sorry.” He blurted, tears beginning to stream down his face.

“Hey, Wooyoung, don’t say that. It wasn’t your fault.” Seonghwa reassured the other.

Yeosang sat next to San, and he wasn’t sure Yeosang approved of him yet. They had met once in a slightly similar situation, but now that Wooyoung was no longer living, San wondered of Yeosang liked him, tolerated him, or just plain hated him. 

“I don’t hate you.” Yeosang said out of the blue, keeping his voice down as to not alert everyone else of their conversation. “I’m thankful for you, despite my instincts. Wooyoung has changed because of you, and for the better.” Yeosang folded his hands together in his lap, looking at the table in front of him. “Thank you...for making Wooyoung happy.”

Overjoyed was an understatement to how San felt; he was always unsure of Yeosang liked him or not, or if he would have preferred his little brother to fall in love with someone who was real and tangible, everything that San wasn’t. San fidgeted in his seat, reaching for a piece of chicken and a single yam to put on his plate. He wanted to know what the food tasted like, how much love and care had been put into it by people who love Wooyoung as much as he did. “I promise I’ll take care of Wooyoung; I’ll keep him just as happy as he is with you all.”

Yeosang nodded in silence, watching the scene before him. He did not want to think about the fact that this would be his last dinner with his little brother, his last time he’d get to see his rare and sparkling smile. Wooyoung would probably want to stay, lingering in the world of the living for a few years to stay with his family. But Yeosang wanted him to pass peacefully.

With San, maybe Wooyoung could do just that. His baby brother wouldn’t be alone.

As dinner died down and Wooyoung was filled with love and strawberry shortcake, San could tell he was tired and offered to help clean up so everyone else could sleep. Wooyoung was not used to his ethereal body, and he was becoming weaker and weaker with each passing hour.

“Wooyoung, why don’t you go lay down on your bed? I...haven’t changed it yet.” Yeosang spoke first, surprising San for just a moment that he could tell Wooyoung’s state too. But then again, they were brothers; it made San even more sad that Wooyoung was losing a very important person in his life.

“I’m fine—”

“You’re not used to this form. Halloween can be very draining.” San reassured the other, hands coming to rest on his shoulders. “Why don’t you go rest? I can help your big brother clean up and I’ll come see you later?”

“But—”

“It’s not like  _ we _ have a time limit. Besides, I haven’t really had much time to get to know your brother.”

Wooyoung pouted, but with not only his boyfriend  _ and _ his brother cornering him like this, he had no choice. He exhaled a heavy breath, defeated. “You two are unfair.”

“It’s because we love you.” San smiled. “Please rest. We still have about 22 hours left to spend with your family.”

“I’ll come over later!” Mingi announced, a big smile on his face. “Don’t worry, Wooyoungie, we still have a lot of time.”

“You better come back.” Wooyoung gave a warm hug to Mingi, almost tearing up at the feeling of feeling the embrace on his skin.

Mingi laughed. “My parents’ house isn’t very far. I’ll be back before you even wake up.”

Wooyoung laughed. “You owe me soju if you’re wrong.”

“Deal.” Mingi smiled and squeezed his shoulder. “See you later.

As Mingi left, San and Seonghwa went back to the kitchen to clean up the mess from dinner. There was a little bit of awkwardness in the room. 

Yeosang was a bit floored hearing San admit for the first time that he loved Wooyoung.

San wondered why Seonghwa stuck around to help; he didn’t think he and Wooyoung were  _ that _ close. But then he saw the way his hands lingered on Yeosang’s own as they scrubbed pots and pans in the sink made him smile.

“Go upstairs and make sure Wooyoung is alright. We can finish the clean-up.” Yeosang had asked of him.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. I...see what you do to Wooyoung. And I see how much he cares for you.” Yeosang gave San a bright smile. “I was a fool for not trusting you from the start.”

“How could you have known? I’m still...just a ghost after all.” San gave a weak smile in return before heading back upstairs to find Wooyoung. But he knew this house, knew where the other boy’s room was, and a comfortable glee settled in his bones at the childhood room that hadn’t seemed to change from when they first met.

Wooyoung peeked up at him behind the dinosaur-print covers. “You finished?”

San smiled. “No, but Yeosang is cleaning with Seonghwa.”

“Seonghwa is still here?”

“Yeah.” San gave a laugh, covering the two of them in blankets and holding Wooyoung securely against his body with one arm. “I think Seonghwa agreed to tutor you more often so he could spend time with your big brother.” 

Wooyoung laughed. “Wow. Really? They’re…”

“At least it seemed that way to me.” San pressed his nose into Wooyoung’s neck. “Your brother may have lost you, but it looks like he has a pillar of support behind him.”

Wooyoung didn’t speak, but he nodded, slowly yawning before settling even closer to his boyfriend. “I guess...hyung will be...okay.” He went silent after that, and the realization that he wouldn’t be able to see his brother or Mingi until either of them died. It hurt, but he had already cried and wallowed in misery; he couldn’t be sad anymore. They’d be better off than he had thought. “I’m gonna miss them.” 

“Don’t worry. When...we pass...we won’t have to worry about that anymore. I’m sure time doesn’t flow properly...and you will see them sooner than you think.” San pressed a small kiss to Wooyoung’s cheek. “They’ll be fine. I promise.

“I know.” Wooyoung gave a final hefty sigh before falling into a deep sleep, his chest rising and falling evenly. 

“Stay strong, because you  _ will _ see them again. And I’m sure they’d want to see your bright smile when they move on.” 

Wooyoung smiled in his sleep.

* * *

“Hyung, you can’t cry. You did plenty of it at the actual funeral.” Wooyoung chided his older brother, but still embraced him, hoping to never lose the feeling of his brother’s warmth. If Yeosang kept on crying like this, there was no way he could move forward. “We had an entire day filled with my favorite things...wasn’t that enough?” 

Yeosang sobbed even more. “No, it wasn’t! I changed my mind...please don’t leave me, Wooyoung.” 

“Yeosang, it’s okay.” Seonghwa smiled at him, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Wooyoung is going somewhere where he can be happy. And we can’t change that no matter how hard we try.” Seonghwa sighed softly, and it temporarily stopped Yeosang’s ugly crying. “And besides...you have a family of your own.” 

Wooyoung gasped for a second at the implication of Seonghwa’s words. “Wait—” 

“S-seonghwa! Wait a minute—”

“I...thought you already told Wooyoung.”

“Yeosang tells me nothing.”

Seonghwa groaned. “Oh my.”

“It’s okay, hyung. San told me that you two looked really close.”

San whined. “Don’t bring me into the family drama!”

“You are  _ my  _ family, Yeosang-hyung comes as a package deal!” Wooyoung retorted.

“Do I count?” Seonghwa piped up. “I mean—”

“Well, it’s not a secret anymore.”

Wooyoung frowned. “Hyung, I’m a little upset you didn’t tell me you were already engaged.”

“I was  _ going to. _ ”

“Can I be a part of the family?” Mingi’s watered a little.

Wooyoung reached over to pet the taller boy. “Yes, you can be our puppy.”

Mingi took that as the highest compliment. “T-thank you.”

“Don’t cry on me please, I already told myself I was going to be strong for everyone.”

As the tension died down and the clock slowly began to tick towards midnight, Wooyoung parted from the others and took San’s hand. He looked back at the people who made his life meaningful, who gave him joy and warmth even beyond the grave.

“Take care of him, okay San?” Yeosang smiled, using every fiber of his being to keep from crying in front of everyone again. He just didn’t want Wooyoung to have any regrets; he hoped Wooyoung would leave seeing faces of everyone he loved with smiles, not tears. 

Mingi gave an approving nod even though his eyes were red and full of tears and his hands trembled like he was going to burst. 

“If you hurt him, I’m going to come up there and kill you myself.” 

San laughed; he knew the insult came with good intentions. He didn’t blame Yeosang at all; he would probably act the same if it were his own siblings.

“Sure thing, hyung.” San bowed formally before taking Wooyoung’s hand in his own. His face was a little red from calling Yeosang like his own brother, but the other man just smiled at him. 

“I love you all.” Wooyoung fought back the tears long enough before he turned around and stepped over the thin veil with San, the clock striking midnight on November 1st. 

“Wooyoung!” He heard, turning around at the sound of his voice. Yeosang waved at him, a sobbing mess even though he could no longer see his little brother anymore.

Wooyoung waved back, and Yeosang swore he could see the small gesture for as long as he lived.

**Author's Note:**

> did you enjoy? :D


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